Night light
by Writing dust
Summary: "Im out one night and this happens. When Maya finds out that she is pregnant she struggels to remember what actually happend that night on the club.While her friends are suspecing that she is sick and are trying to get her to tell them. How is Maya going to handle everything. And how is everyone going to react if they find out. (chipings: Joshaya, Rucas.)
1. That Night

**Hello everyone, this is my first fanfic and i would love for you do read and review, hope you like it. Enjoy xD**

 **i only own this storyline. /Writing dust**

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chapter 1 that night

Maya's POV.

I wake up by the terrible sound of my alarm clock. I turn it of and stand up from bed. I still feel a bit dizzy from last night. I shouldn't have been drinking so much. No wait i shouldn't have been drinking at all or go to that stupid club. And defiently not on a sunday.

im trying to stop to think about that right now and go to my wardrobe to get dressed. I pick a pair of light blue jeans and a blue black top. I make my way to the bathroom to fix my hair and put on my makeup. When i'm done i do not even think i just walk into the kitchen and grab a sandwhich and sit down on the table and eat. While i'm eating i try to remember what happend last night.

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 _Flachback_

 _Im walking out the door and down the street. Mom and Shawn thinks that im at Rilies and won´t be home until late. It`s already dark outside but like people always says "Newyork the city that never sleeps" i thought while arriving at the club that was only one block away from NYU. But what was the odds of Josh being there this night, on a Sunday. And he didn`t either. I desided to sit down at one of the empty tabels and just look at the people who were dancing and drinking. I actually didn´t know why i wanted to go here, i mean i wasn`t going to drink anything. I guess i just want to look at the people, how they are acting and i wanted to know how it felt to be in a club. I just had no idea why i didn`t had to show my ID but i was here now. I sat there for maybe ten minutes before i desided to leave. But then a tall young black haired man sat down next to me. He had a red drink in his hand and placed it infront of me._

 _" I saw you were leaving without trying this drink"he said and looked at me._

 _" Oh, no thanks, i didn`t come here to drink" i said standing up and walk away. But just as i got up the man grabed my wrist and pulled me down back to my seat._

 _" Ohh, come on just one sip and i`ll let you go home" he said smiling at me and let go of my wrist. But he slowly put his hand around my shoulders while i was grabing the glas. Just when i was about to take a sip the man took on hand under the glas and puched it so more got into my mouth. I tried to puch him away and spit out the drink but i coulden`t he was to strong. I stated to panic when i took the now empty glas away from my mouth and put it on the table. I was in shock when he puched me down on the floor and then. Everthing went black for a moment. But when i started to see again i saw the man lie two meters away from me. He was beaten down. I was still in shock and i still saw a little blurry. I then heard someone say my name._

 _" Hey Maya, Maya can you hear me are you okay" the voice said. The voice felt so calm but still worried but i couldn`t put a finger on who the voice beloned to. I looked up at the face haning over me and saw a brown haired guy with brown beautiful eyes and. Wait were i actually thinking this right now. I tried to answer his question but i couldn`t get the words out. It was like when you sleep walk your mind is awake but you can`t control what you do or say. Everything went black there for a little while to but i got this feeling that i didn`t past out. What i remember next is that happend is that i woke up in a dorm room. I felt really dizzy and still saw blurry. I didn`t even look who lied besides me i just got up, put on my clothes looked at the clock 2pm in the night. I tip toe out of the door and the building and started to run back home._

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I stop thinking as i realized that i`ve been eating breakfast when i clearly always eat at the Matthews, and i always text Riley if iwon`t eat with them. So igo back to my room and picks up my phone. But as i start the phone i see the time 10 pm in the morning. Oh god im two hours late to school. I also see that i have 15 missed calls from Riley and 30 texts. How could my mom not wake me up. No wait they must have thought that i stayed at Riles over the night. And both of them starts work early. of course they woulden`t wake me up. I think fast, i pack the last of my things in my bag and starts to run to school. I don`t even care that i can take the subway it will go faster if i run.

i run into the school and head straight to my locker and puts in my bag. I take a look at my scheduele and fantastic i have the history class now. Wonderful. I take my books and make my way to history class.

Im standing infront of the door. I don`t know why but i start to get this werid feeling in my stomach, like im going to throw up any minute. I take a deep bearth and open the door and walk in to the room. I pretend not noticing that everyone is starring at me wile i take a seat next to Riley. I realize that everyone is still starring at me and that inclues Corey. God i hate this and it only makes me feel more nausea.

"So you finally desided to show up, huh, so whats your excuse"Corey asked. I just looked at him without a word in my mind. I just wanted this werid feeling of nausea to disappear.

"So no excuse, okay i`ll let it pass this time, okay" he said after seeing that confused look on my face. He continued with the lesson. After History class i have one class left before lunch. I tried to avoid Riley, Lucas, Farkle and Zay as much as i could. But i knew that i wasn`t going to be able to avoid them at lunch. But right now i have a 20 minutes break before next class. I left m books in my locker as fast as i could to avoid my friends. Once i closed my locker i felt nausea again but this time it was worse, like it was on it`s way up. So i walked fast but confidently into the restroom. But when the door closed behind me i ran into the nearest booth. I didn`t even bother to close and lock the door. i just throw up. It felt terrible. I could taste the sandwitch in my mout. When i was done i washed my face, and drank some water out of my hands. I looked at my self in the mirror, I look so pale and terrible. What can i tell my friends ao they belive me. I mean i can`t tell them that i wnet to a club last night and met some stranger who forced me to drink god knows what and then i woke up in a dorm room at 2pm and.. I got out of my thoughts when the school bell rang. My next class stated. Great just Great.

At lunch i only took some salad and a glas of water and sat down at on of the empty tabels. I didn`t feel like eating now that i had vomited. And i really felt the nausea comeback like all the time. After one minute i heard footsteps coming towards me. And in a few seconds Riley sat besides me and Lucas,Farkle and Zay sat in front of me. I was worried that they were going to ask why i acted so werid but nothing. They just sat there starting to eat. I coulden`t help but smile so i grabed my fork and was about to put the sallad in my mouth when i felt int again. Nausea, why now. I put down my fork and started to get the feeling of throwing up again anytime now so i just puched my plate away and hoped that my friends woulden`t notice but of course they did.

" What`s wrong Maya" Riley asked with a concernd look on her face. I faked a smile so she and the other guys woulden`t notice i felt like crap.

"Nothing im just not so hungry and i think i saw the cock put some sort of green thing in the salad so" I said and Zay that had just put some of the salad in his mouth spitted it out all over his plate, making me laugh by disgused of what i just had to whitness. But Riley just kept looking at me with an even more worried look now.

"Riley i`m fine" I said smiing at her. She smiled weakly back.

"Okay, but im just worried about you peaches, you didn`t showed up until maybe 11pm and you didn`t call me back and then you have been avoiding us sense you came" Riley said and i heard that she was upset and i didn`t even dare to look at the boys.

"My clock didn`t ring this morning so i overslept, and then i was so emerest i just felt like i wanted to be alone" I said hoping they all trusted me.

" But why aren`t you eating then, i guess that you were so stressed that you didn`t eat brekfast"Lucas said with his annoying Huckelberry concernd vocie.

"I just don`t" I said when i felt the neusea grew worse. Everyone looked at me with concernd looks on thery faces. I stand up and runs into the restroom once again and throw up. This time even more. But the werid thing is that i haven`t been eating anyting else since the first time i throw up. Could it be that werid drink that the man gave me or am i sick.

"Im out one time and this happnes" I thought to my self. I stood up and went out to wash my face once again. I open the door and there is Riley looking at me worried and with arms crossed. I tried to avoid the look and went to wash my face when Riley puts her hands on my shoulder`s and turning me towards her.

"Oh peaches you should have told me you didn`t feel good" She said hugging me and making me smile. I really had a great friend.

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 **So this is the first chapter, please review and tell me what you thought about it, and just so you know english is not my oringnial languish, but if there is any grammar that is totaly killing you please tell me. i really hpe you liked it and i will try to update as soon as possible xD**

 **/Writing dust.**


	2. Trying To Remember

**Thanks for the review XoxMountainGirlXox i'm really thankfull, And i'm going to try my best to fix grammar and spelling errors, And i just want you all to know that she might throw up because of that drink the man gave her, i understand if you feel confused but it will hopefully make more sense later. But im going to let u all read now, so Enjoy xD.**

 **/Writing dust.**

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Chapter 2 Trying To Remember.

Maya's POV.

Next day:

I wake up feeiling a little better. I sit up on my bed and take a look on my clock 6:30pm. I stand up and walk over to my wardrobe, Today i have dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt. I'm on my way to the bathroom when my mom calls me from the living room.

"Maya"she calls and come towards me and put a hand on my forehead.

"Mom, im fine"I said. Mom took her hand away from my forehead and cross her arms.

"I do not think so, Mr Matthews called me yesterday and said that you've been throwing up" she said looking at me with concern.

"It was the food in the school, im okay" I said hoping that she trusted me. But all she did was to emphasize her hand over my hair and smile, then she walked back to the living room. I continued to walk into the bathroom to put on my makeup. I then looked at myself in the mirror and i was glad to see that i got some color in my face again. I actually looked good. But what could have caused the nausea that i felt yeterday. When i think about it, i realize that most of my memory from the night at the club was black. Maybe it was that weird red drink, but can you get drunk by one glas of alcohol. What if during the second black out i drank more. GOD WHY can't i remember. I sigh and walk out of the bathroom when i realize something else. How did Mr Matthews know that i had thrown up in school.

"Mom how did Corey know that i had thrown up yesterday" I asked my mom while entering the living room and standing in front of her.

"I think he said that Riley had told him" She responded. God why did Riley tell him, i mean it was the food. Okay it wasin't the food, i throw up because i got drunk and my body reacted very late to the alcohol, but i couldn't tell her that, i could not tell anyone. And they never had to find out i'll just tell them that it was the food, they will belive that. Right?

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I entered the Matthews apartment with a big smile on my face as i sat down at the table and started eating.

"You feel better today Maya" Corey ask with a concerned look on his face.

"Em, does it look like i feel worse" I said trying to sound serious but still with joy in my voice. I don't know why but i felt so good now that the nausea has disappeared i hope that it will never come back ever again.

Everyone started to giggle about my comment and i saw that their concerned looks disappeard. But i still wanted to know what happend during my blackouts. What did that man do to me. I don't even know if im supposed to be happy that i don't remember. But it's killing me.

I wake up from my thoughts noticing that i haven't eating since Corey asked me if i was feeling better. I had just starred down at my plate with pancake. Where i really losing myself in my mind just because i don't know what happend during two blackouts..In a club...With a stranger over me...Later he was knocked down on the floor...Someones head hanging over me and...

" Maya are you sure that you are okay" Riley asked putting her hand on my shoulder. I look at her and forced a smile.

"Yes i just.. Realize that im not so hungry"I said hoping that she and everyone around me believed what i said. I mean im not lying about something life-threatening

Riley nods and stand up and take my hand as we walk out the door and into the subway.

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I and Riley enter the school and makes our way to our lockers. And i must say that i feel so great even despite i'm lost in my thoughts. But what am i supposed to do. On one hand i am happy that i don't remember what happend but on the other it is killing me that i don't know. And here i am lost in my thoughts again great. I take my spanish books and make my way into class that is going to start any minute. Riley comes in right after me and sits down on the desk behind me. And to distract myself from my thoughts i decide to turn around and look at Riley.

"So, have you studied for the spanish test today"I asked serious but i'm laughing myself to death inside as i saw how Rileys eyes widen.

"WE HAVE A TEST" she yelled and got everyone starring at her for one second.

"You got to be kidding me, Peaches"She said and looked at me with her puppy dog eyes.

" Oh, my little plant, my little little plant"I took a fast break before i continued" O..f course im kidding" I said and brust out laughing. I think i also saw Riley giggle a little before i turned around again. After class me and Riley went to the stairs to wait for Lucas, Farkle and Zay who only came some minutes after us.

"So Maya you feel any better today"Lucas greeted and smiled.

"Yep, i don't think i've ever been better"I said.

"Yeah well that's nice to hear"Zay continued. And then there came the awkward silence when we all just looked at each other. I hated that to.

"So did something fun happen on the french class" Riley finally said.

"Em, i guess not it was the same boring teacher as always, so how was the spanish class" Farkle spoke.

"No, the only fun thing that i actually understands in there is when Maya fools me that we have a test"Riley said doing those puppy eyes again and her sad but still happy vocie.

"you went on it again"Lucas asked smiling a little bit.

"YES" Riley answerd sounding desperate. And we all started laughing. And then the next class started and the other once until it was lunch time.

Today they served tacos. Oh i totally love tacos. But i figure i would take it easy and not eat to much. Because i really don't want to throw up again. So i didn't took a taco bread i just took the meat and sallad and corn with some typical taco sauce. I took a seat with the others who were already sitting at the tabel and eating theri tacos. I sat down next to Riley. I took up my fork and started to eat. And i must say eating a taco without bread is not as good as eating a taco with bread. But i ate it anyway. I hadn't taken so much food either and of course my friends notice.

"Maya, why are you not eating so much"Lucas asked with is typical huckelberry voice.

"Yeah you're the one who is supposed to eat most today"Farkle added. I looked up at my friends and smiled, i didn't even notice that my smile was really weak like it always were when i was lying about something really bad. And i guess lying about that you snuck out to a club and got drunk is really bad. That was also why i couldn't tell them.

"I'm just trying to avoid throwing up again" I said.

"Maya i don't think you have to worry about that, i mean you look fine to me and you say that you feel great so"Riley said before i cut her of.

"I'm just trying to be careful, okay, i promies that tomorrow i will eat like a normal me"I said to Riley putting a hand on her shoulder while i watched a smile grow on her face before she continued eating. But Farkle still looked at me. Like he could see that i were hiding something. And that he promiesed him self and me that he was going to find out. I just tried to ignore him and continued eating.

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At Topanga's

We sat there around the table were we always sit. Lucas and Farkle in one chair each and Zay sat on chair on the other side of the tabel while me and Riley sat on the couch. I pretended to read a book for an essay, but in fact i was trying to remember that night. I went through the steps in my head. _I came to the club i sat down at one of the tabels, a stranger came and sat down next to me and forced me to drink something with alcohol and then he puched me down to the floor going with his hands down my waist and.._ There right there it all went black and somehow i could still feel his hands on my waist and his body lying over mine. I didn't even notice that i had a disgusting look on my face. But as fast as i realize it Farkle had already grabbed my wrist and pulled me outside.

"I know that you are hiding something" He said with a really serious voice.

"No i don't know what you are talking about"I said trying to sound as trustworthy as i could.

"I know you're lying so don't even try, first you throw up, and then you barely eat something and then i see you doing a disgust face when you read a book about geography and then you're also lost in your thoughts sometimes, even tho you don't think we notice we do, so please at least tell me"He said with a worried and irritable voice that was very loud. I took a deep breath and sigh.

" Nothing is wrong with me Farkle, i'm just tired and you know that i hate to throw up so im just being careful with what i'm eating"I said with the calmest voice i have.

"Huh, well i don't belive you, but i am your friend and if you don't feel ready to tell me yet, then i hope that you know, you can tell me when your ready" He said with a weak smile on his face as he walked in side again. And i just stood there relieved that i didn't had to tell him but still i felt guilty for not telling him. I sigh why did i have so good and caring friends. Why.

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 **So this was chapter two, It didn't took long to write but i worked very hard to fix the grammar and spelling. I'm actually very pleased with this chapter, and i really hope that you like it, so please review and tell me what you thought about it,And i will try to update as soon as possible. xD**

 **/Writing dust**


	3. Something Is Wrong

**Hello everyone, i just have to say that im really thankful for the reviews and that you like this story, it makes my day. So now Enjoy this new chapter xD**

 **/Writing dust.**

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Chapter 3 Something is wrong

Maya's POV.

3 and a half week later.

I was in the subway with Riley. The train that was supposed to take us to school were late. And it was raining and freezing. Me and Riley sat on one of the benches and just looked at the track were the train were supposed to come.

"We are going to be so late" Riley said still looking at the track.

"Yeah i know, maybe we should just walk"I said looking at Riley who turned her head to face me.

"If we go out in this weather we are going to catch a cold" Riley said.

"Would you like to tell your dad why we are late then, okay"I said with a teasing vocie. Riley's eyes widen after i said that.

"Maya, let's get out in the rain, run for our lives and hope that we don't catch a cold"Riley said and looked at me as she stood up and walked towards the exit. I just smiled and laugh as i followed her out in the rain. And we actually ran for our lives, seriously i have never seen Riley run so fast before.

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We entered the school soaking wet. The school started five minutes ago so me and Riley rushed to our lockers and took our things and went to history class. Riley open the door and we both was now standing in front of everyone. Corey looked at us.

"Do i even want to know"He asked with a funny look on his face.

"The less you know, the better"Riley said with a big smile on her face as she sat down at her desk. I started to smile and almost laugh. I just loved when Cory made that funny look.

"Sit"Corey yelled, and i immediately stoped laughting and sat down in my desk. And Corey continued with his lession. After class me and Riley went to the restroom to try to dry our hair. We both had to wear cold and wet clothes the hole day. We are defiently going to catch a cold.

At lunch they served spaghetti. Not my favorite but i was pretty hungry so i didn't have a choice. So i took the food and sat down at the table were Lucas,Farkle and Zay sat. I started eating when Riley came with a tray were she had her plate with spaghetti and two glass of what i guess is raspberry juice. She sits down next to me and takes one of the glass and put it in front of me.

"Here, you forgot to take something to drink"She said with a big smile on her face. I looked at the glass with raspberry juice before i took it up to my mouth and took a sip and put the glass down. But then something felt werid. I couldn't swallow. And it did not taste like raspberry is supposed to taste. I looked at the glass again it was almost the same color as the drink the man gave me at that club. I haven't even realized that i haven't been drinking any red jucie or soda or.. Wait i have barely been drinking any water either. For all these weeks i thought that i was over it but no.

I tried to swallow again but it didn't work, i just couldn't, it was like my mind wanted to but my heart was stoping me. But eventually i swallowed it and started eating. But then again it felt so werid. But i couldn't explain it, It was like i really wanted it because i was really hungry but my stomach didn't agreed. I begain to feel nausea and i started to breath heavy and i just looked at my plate. I caught my friends attention.

"Maya are you okay"Riley asked putting a hand on my shoulder. I just nodded. But of course they didn't believe me.

"Okay, do you need anything"Lucas asked with a worried look and voice.

"Nn,o no, i just need yeah i just need to g,o go"I said standing up and walking slowly to the restroom. My voice was shaking, i was shaking. Were i afraid of that raspberry juice. God that night still haunted me. I know that i know more then i remember but.. Right then i came into the first booth in the restroom and i sat down on my knees in front of the toilet. Just waiting to throw up. And i did, not much it was just the breakfast and the little meal that i had today. I was about to get up when i felt really dizzy and my vision got blurry and i started to see black. And then i passed out. Everything went black.

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Rileys POV.

Of course i followed Maya. I heard it in her vocie, i saw it in the way she walked. I came into the restroom to see one of the booht doors closed. Maya must be in there.

"Maya,Maya, Maya i know that you're in there, come on i just want to help you"I said but no answer. So i opened the door and was shocked of what i saw. My best friend lying there pastout and in the toilet there was her vomit. I open the door.

"HELP, HELP, PLEASE I NEED HELP" I yelled and started crying. I couldn't think strait. What if she dies or never wakes up or... No this can't be happening. I slipped down the wall and started to cry.

"HELP, PLEASE, HELP, help"I yelled once again. And in that moment a teacher ran in and looked at me. But all i could do was pointing with my finger at the booth. The teacher opened the door and crouched down next to her and checked her pulse and i was so scared. The teacher took up her phone and called 911.

After 15 minutes the amulance came. I came out of the restroom to face Lucas,Farkle and Zay who looked more then worried.

"What happend"Zay asked and i have actually never heard Zay sound so worried before.

"I,i don't know, i just found her passed out and she had thrown up"I said i couldn't continue, i started to cry again. Lucas pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. I didn't wanted to admit it but it actually felt a little better.

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Mayas POV.

I wake up in a hospital bed. The room im in is light with light blue and white walls. I feel tired and confused. I look at my arm, from my arm there was a hose that went into a pouch filled with water. I couldn't sit up, i was scared, i don't know why but i had this werid feeling i just wanted someone anyone to come through that door and tell me something that would calm me down. Just then the door is opening and Farkle comes in and sit down in the chair beside my bed.

"Farkle how did you got in here"I said with my calmes voice.

"What happend Maya"He asked with a voice i never heard before.

"Nothing"I said trying to avoid eye contact.

"Wow, i can't belive you. this is exactly what happen some weeks ago, but the diffrence now is that you ended up in the hospital after Riley find you passed out"Farkle said and starting to sound angry.

"How is Riley doing"I said trying to change the subject. Farkle frowend.

"Riley is at Topanga's rigth now with the other's, but that's not what we are talking about,i need to know what's happening to you Maya, i mean how are we supposed to help you if you don't tell us"He said and i know he sounded angry but he was actually worried to dead inside. But i still couldn't tell him, he wouldn't hold it a secret.

"Farkle nothing is wrong with me, and i don't even know why i passed out cause the doctor haven't come in yet"I said. Farkle sigh and looked down on the floor and then back at me again.

"Okay if this is how you want it, then i'm done here, but i swear to you that if you don't tell me then i will find out"He said before leaving. I looked up at the celling. What have i done, what happend, i still can't remember.

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Farkle's POV.

I went to the hospital reception.

"I think you should send someone to look at Ms Hart she's awake"I said to the women.

"Yeah of course thanks for telling"She said and went through a door. I went out of the hospital and made my way over to Topanga's.

When i came through the door to Topanga's and saw Riley sitting on the couch leaning her head against Lucas shoulder and she was holding Zays hand. I sat down in one of the chair's. My friends looked at me.

"I saw Maya"I said because i didn't know what else to tell them.

"Is she okay"Riley asked.

"She says that she is, but i think she's lying"I told them i saw their eyes widen.

"Why do you think she is lying, she would never lie to us"Zay asked. I looked down on the floor, should i tell them what i thought.

"I think she's sick"I finally said. Riley stood up and looked at me.

"Farkle, i want you to be totaly honest now, are you sure that Maya is sick"Riley asked me. I look her straight in her eyes.

"Don't you remember a few weeks ago, when she throw up and wouldn't eat and got lost in her thoughts all the time"Riley nodded as Zay and Lucas stood up besides her."And sometimes she got the look of disgused in her face. And today she couldn't keep her food. She wouldn't even drink, and now she's in the hospital"I said but i almost started to yell.

"Are you saying that Maya might have"Lucas said really convinced. It all made perfect sense, She eats really much but when she is about to drink or anything she throws up.

"Bulimia"I said looking at my friends. They looked shocked but after some minutes of thinking it through they looked as convinced as i was. But when i looked at Riley i could see the tears in her eyes come back as she took a deep breath.

"But guys we are not sure, i think we should ask Maya"She said looking at all of us.

"But Maya won't admit it that easy, i think we should...Make her feel like she can trust us more then she already do"Zay suggested looking at us all.

"But how could we possibly do that"Lucas asked.

"We my dear friends, we are going to treat and support her as much and good as we can until she feels like she can and have to tell us"Zay said and we all agreed. And we are going to start when Maya got out of the hospital.

* * *

Maya's POV.

A doctor came through the door, She was tall and her brown hair were in a ponnytail. She had some papers in her hands and came to the bed were i was still lying.

"Hello, Ms Hart, i'm your doctor Mrs Cooper but you can call me Emily"She said and smiled.

"You can call me Maya"I said and nodded. Emily looked at the pouch with water and started to remove the hose. When she was done she helped me sit up and put a platch on my arm were the hose had been.

"So do you remember what happend before you passed out"Emily asked me and sat down on the egde of the bed.

"I just started to feel really dizzy and then i throw up"I took a deep breath."Why am i here"I asked. Emily looked at me but i coulden't read her face, were she concered or i don't know.

"You have shortage of water, that's why you passed out, you really should drink more water"She said. All i could do was nod. I really have let that night get over my head.

"Im going to need to take a blood test just to see that it look's good and you should stay here and rest until we get the result's back"She told me before getting her things for the blood test.

It didn't hurt but it was creepy to see some of my own blood. When it was done she left the room and i was still sitting on the bed resting like she told me. She came back after half an hour with more papers in her hands. I sat up on the side of the bed with my legs hanging down the side as Emily took a seat on one of the charis next to me.

"So there is two news one is bad and the other is a mixed of both it depense on how you look at it"She said and now she had a concernd look on her face. I looked down at the floor, i had no idea what to say or what was waiting on those papers.

" I just have to ask one question, have you been in contact with alcohol lately" She asked me."Don't worry what you are telling me here stays here"She added. I could tell her.

"Yes, a couple of weeks ago"I said almost wispering. Emily nodded and looked at her papers.

"Do you remember what you drank and how much"She asked, so now it comes, i have to adimt it. There is no escape now because i don't know what is written on those papers.

"Something red, a stranger foced me to drink it, he forced me to drink everything"I said and i almost started to cry. I looked at Emily who looked shocked, like she saw everything in front of her. Now i was scared.

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 **So this is chapter 3, it was actually pretty hard to writ it cause i didn't really know how to start or how to end it, so i made a cliffhanger, but hopefully you liked this chapter, so please leave a review and tell me what you thought about it and i promise to update as soon as possible xD**

 **/Writing dust.**


	4. A Mess

**Hey i'm back with a new chapter, I know i ened the last chapter with a cliffhanger, and i just want to warn you guys cuz there will be a lots of those in future chapters,And this story is a drama story, i know that there hasn't been much drama in the other chapters but it's now the real story begins, i hope you like this chapter , but now Enjoy xD**

 **/Writing dust**

* * *

Chapter 4 A Mess

Maya's Pov.

"How much do you remember"Emily finally asked. I decide to tell her the most important.

"A man came with a red drink and forced me to drink it all up. And i got a black out some minutes after that"I said leaving the part were the man pushed me down to the floor. She was quiet once again.

"Maya, we found some sort of unknown drug in your blood system"She paused and looked at me. I was close to tears but i wanted her to continue, i wanted to hear, i needed to hear."We do not know how to get it out of your system, and it is going to affect you but we don't know how"She said and i'm not going to lie, she looked really sad. I took a deep breath. I had no idea how to answer what i had just heard.

"There was two news"I finally said and looked at Emily who nodded.

"Well, we are not sure, but"She paused and took a breath."You might be pregnant" She said. My eyes widen as the word _pregnant_ were spun around in my head. I was shocked.

"How, how is that possible" I said starting to cry. I but a hand over my mouth and gasped.

"Maya, we are not sure yet, we need to make an appointment so we can do an ultra sound"She said after letting me cry. I tried to calm down but it was just to much. First there was an unknown drug in my system and then i might also be pregnant. I decide to just nod and look at the floor.

"Would you like to be alone or should i call someone"She asked with a nice voice. I didn't know what i wanted, but i knew that i didn't want anyone to know until i was sure.

"I want to know when i can come back for the ultra sound"I said looking at her. She smiled a little.

"I think we should do it as soon as possible, so how about on friday, at 15:00pm, would that work for you" She asked looking at me.

"Yeah it sounds good"I answered. Emily told me i could leave when i felt ready and she then left me. I saw a body mirrior in one of the corners. i went to it and looked at my stomach, i felt like praying that i wasn't pregnant but still i couldn't. were there a part of me that was happy, how could i be happy. Right then the door swung open and Riley came in. I turned around and smiled.

"Oh, peaches"Riley said and hugged me.

"I'm fine Riley, i just need to drink more"I said as Riley pulled of and took my hand in hers and smiled.

"Well then, we can go and hang out. Oh let's go to the galleria and eat at that taco place"She said with a happy voice that made me smile even more.

"That sounds great Rilies"I said as we made our way out of the hospital.

* * *

At the gallery

We were sitting at the taco place. I had orded one normal taco with a big glass of water while Riley took a normal taco and a normal glass of coke. We talked so much and just had a great time like we always have. But something happend when i told Riley that i needed to use the restroom.

"Why"She asked with her serious vocie and look.

"I need to do what people do in restrooms"I said trying to sound serious.

"Okay, then i'll come with you"She said. I was about to say no but she had already made her way to the restroom so i just followed her. She waited out side my booth. Did she thought that i was going to throw up. I came out and washed my hands, i could see that Riley looked in side my booth to be sure that i didn't throw up. I turned around to face Riley.

"Rilies you don't have to be worried i didn't throw up"I said. Riley just nodded and put a hand on my shoulder.

"You know that if you feel bad or anything you can tell me"She said smiling and i smiled back and nod. We walk out of the restroom and goes to some of the stores and have a really good time. We laugh and try clothes, funny accessories. I loved every minute, it made me forget about everything the doctor had told me.

* * *

Friday :

The last class today was history. I don't know why but Corey asked me to stay after the class ended.

"So what have i done now"I asked him when everyone had left. But i was sure that my friends were standing on the other side of the door and try to listen.

"Riley told me that you have been throwing up once here in school, So i just feel like i have to ask, are you okay"He asked me. I was so glad that he cared about me, he was like my dad. I looked fast at the clock i have ten minutes to get to the hospital for my appointment.

"Yeah i'm totaly fine, i just feel stressed that's all"I said smiling. Cory smiled back and i went out the door. And just as i suspected my friends stood there right in front of the door. But i didn't have time to talk to them right now.

"I have to go, i'll talk to you guys later"I said and walked out of the school. I didn't even gave them a chance to answer. I just wanted to get this appointment over with.

* * *

At the hospital:

I was now sitting in the waiting room. I looked around at all of the other women that were in the waiting room. I'am the youngest here, I've seen some of the women giving me looks but i tried to ignore it utill i had enough. An older woman sat in front of me and read a magazine. Sometimes she looked up and looked at me. I could see that she was pregnant. But i don't understand why she can't mind her own business.

"What are you looking at"I asked her with my confused and angry voice. She put here magazine down and looked at me. I think she is in the age of 30.

"May i ask how old you are"She finally said and rasied an eyebrow.

"I'm soon sixteen"I answerd and smiled. I really trid hard to sound and look calm.

"Huh"Was the only thing she said. God i wanted to know what she thought about me being here, i want to know what everyone in this room thinks of me right now.

"Ms Hart"The nurse called. And i stood up and walked away with her but i could swear that everyone in the wating room starred at me when i walked up to the nurse.

The nurse led me to a room and she told me to lie down on the bed and that the doctor would come in any minute. God, soon my whole life could chance or maybe not. I wish that i at least had told my mom, she could have come with me but then i would have to tell her about me sneaking out to a club. I'm scared.

Mrs Cooper comes in after just a few moments.

"Hi Maya, how have you been feeling this past few days"She asked me starting the machine and turn the lights off.

"I've been feeling pretty good actually"I answered. Emily smiled at me.

"Okay, pull up your shirt a little bit"She asked. And i did as i was told and then she put some weird grease on my stomach.

She had now started to look at the screen. I couldn't see anything because the screen wasn't turned towards me. I'm scared and nervous and i don't know what to expect.

"Okay Maya, i have some news"Emily finally said. Okay here goes nothing. I nod and try to raise my head and look at her. Emily sigh.

"You are pregnant"she said."And everything looks fine, would you like to see"She continued. I could only nod when she turned the screen towards me. She pointed and told me were the baby was and then. She showed me the heartbeat. I don't know what happend, i just started to cry. I pointed at the screen.

"Is that re really inside of me"I were still crying. Emily closed the machine and took some paper, she gave some to me so i could wipe away my tears as she wiped away the grease.

I sit up on the side of the bed while Emily is fixing something i really don't care about. Because i'm pregnant. What am i going to. I could do abortion but i saw that little thing's heartbeat. I could never kill a leaving being. I can always give it away for adoption but then even if i give it away or keep it i would have to tell everyone about that night i barley remember.

"So Maya, can i get something for you"Emily asked kindly. Actually all i wanted was to cry my eyes out.

"No i'm good, thanks anyway"I answered as calm as i could.

"Okay. you know that you are only two or three weeks in, so if you want to i can fix an appointment for an abortion if you would like"I cut her of.

"NO, i can't do that. i saw it's heartbeat"I almost yelled. I don't know what to do.

"Would you like to think about it until we meet next time"Emily asked. I just nod.

"Good, then i will see you in four weeks"She said smiling. But i could still only nod. She was a nice doctor, she even let me sit in the room until i calmed down. I then walked out of the hospital and walked home. I didn't even cared that Riley and the other's were going to be worried about me. I just couldn't face them right now.

* * *

When i came home i walked straight in to my room and threw myself on the bed and started to cry again. First i find out that i have some unknown drug i my system and then i find out that i'm pregnant. I don't know what to do. Or who i should tell first, maybe Farkle, i mean he really cares about me and would never leave. And Riley wouldn't leave me either. But how can i tell them what happend if i don't even remember. Right then i get a text from Riley. I take up my phone.

 **Hey Maya, i'm worried about u, you were supposed to come to Topanga's.** I thought for a while what i was supposed to answer.I had t lie anyway so.

 **Hey, i'm okay when i came home i fell asleep.** I wrote waiting for an answer, but i hoped she wouldn't reply.

 **But now that you are awake you should come over, dinner is soon ready.** I didn't know what to do. If i said no Riley would suspect something and if i said yes would i be able to hold my tears back. Wait what am i thinking. Riley always makes me laugh. And i can't let her worry about me right now.

 **I'm on my way.** I answer and starts to walk to the Matthews apartment. It's not dark out side yet and it's not to cold at all. I breath and try to clear my mind. I eneter the apartment and are greeted by Riley that was sitting on the couch. We went to sit down at the table were Topanga, Corey and Auggie already sat. God the food smelled so good. But right then the door open.

"Hello family"A voice that made me feel weak in my knees said. I turned around to see Josh.

"Oh, Maya i forot to say that Josh is coming to"Riley wisper in my ear. Josh sat down next to me. His arm accidently touch mine, witch made me blush a little. And why didn't he sat down next to Riley. Why me.

We all ate and talked for almost an hour. I actually forgot that i was pregnat for a while there. But everything fun comes to an end. Topanga started to clean the table while Corey said goodbye to his brother. Josh then hugged Auggie and then Riley. But he also hugged me. He never hugges me, But he wisperd something in my ear.

"Meet me at Topanga's at 7pm, i have to talk to you"And then he pulled away and smiled and walked out the door. I looked at the clock, he wanted me to meet him in two hours. But what did he wanted to talk about.

* * *

 **So this was chapter 4, I'm sorry that you had to wait, but i've been pretty busy this week. But well i hope you liked this chapter, please leave a review and tell me what you thought about it. and i will promise to update as soon as possible. xD**

 **/Writing dust.**


	5. The Truth I Can't Remember

**So i'm now back with a new chapter, i would be really thankful if you reviewd and told me what you though about it, and if you have any ideas for the story you can tell me that to and i'll see what i can do, But for now Enjoy xD**

 **/Writing dust.**

* * *

Chapter 5 The Truth I Can't Remember

Maya's POV.

I walk inside Topanga's. I had just left the Matthews appartment, I wanted to leave as fast as possible but then Riley would suspect something. I look for Josh to see him sit at the table in the corner. It must really be important if he sits in the corner but i stop thinking and make my way over to him. I sit down on the other side of the table. He looked at me with those beautyful blue eyes.

"So what do you want to talk about"I asked him with a serious vocie and i tried my best to don't sound sad.

"How much do you remember from that night at the club"He asked. My eyes widen, how did he, why did he, where he. What.

"H.o.w How did you know"I asked i almost broke. How much did he know.

"Because i was there Maya, now tell me, how much do you remember"He asked me again. Okay i hope that i won't regret it. I told him why i had gone there and how stupid i felt over it, and then i told him about that man and my two blackouts. I actually though that he was going to react diffrently but he seemed to know and understand it. But why. When i stopped talking he only nod. I looked at him with a look that told him to tell me what he knows. He takes a deep breath.

"I came to that club with a friend, and after a while i lost him so i tried to look for him but he was nowhere to be found. So i sat down at the bar and order a beer, i think i was half drunk when i saw a man lying over another blonde girl. So i walked over there and saw that it was you"He paused. Why did he paused."So i puched him away and slap him and then i went over to you. First you wouldn't respond but then you got up and you acted like you had been drinking five beers, I tried to talk to you but you wouldn't listen. You went out on the dance floor and told me that you were fine"He stoped. Why did he stop. I started to feel angry and irritated why couldn't he just tell me what happend.

"And"I said after a short while.

"I don't remember so much, just small parts"He said looking down at the table. What was he thinking right now.

"Tell me"I said a little louder and less calm. I had to know, i had to know right now.

"It's just small parts, nothing important really"He said and crossed his arms.

"Josh"I almost yelled. He sigh and looks me in my eyes.

"I remember us dancing and drinking for some hours and"He stoped again, It was like he were afraid to tell me. I had a though about what he might were about to say and if it was like that i need to hear it. I have to hear it.

"And i remember me...kissing you"He said with a voice that sounded relieved that he finally had said it. But my eyes widen. I started to get a feeling over my whole body. It was like everything that i felt that night came rushing back. I had a feeling off someones hands all over me and someones lips on my lips. It felt terrible. I still didn't remember i could just feel everything.

"And then it all went black for me again. But then i remember you and me entering my dorm room, and as far as i remember nothing more then us kissing happened"Josh finished. I had no idea what to say. I mean i could feel it but i don't even know if it is him. There was something inside me that just couldn't belive it.

"But your not sure"I said after calming down. Josh still looked me in the eyes, i could see tha he wasin't sure, but i could also see that he knew something else. He nod and looks away from my eyes.

"But there is somethíng your not telling me"I said with tears forming in my eyes. Josh was quiet but looked at me again.

"Do you know that guy, from the club that was lying over me"I asked making a disgusted look on my face. And Josh noticed.

"He is a student on NYC, but i don't know him, he is on his last year of college so"I cut him of.

"He druged me"I said as fast as i could.I saw how Josh eyes widen. He looked shocked and concerned.

"He had put something in that red drink and then i"And there i broke, i started to cry as quiet as i could."Then he puched me down on the floor and"I was cut of by Josh taking my hand in his.

"You don't have to tell me"He said. My heart began to beat really fast.

"What did he do to me"I asked trying to calm down.

"I don't know but i'm sure that nothing happend"Josh answered. And then it all reminded me. What if.

"Josh, do you know were he is right now"I asked. What if i saw that man again i would remember and i would be able to belive it to. Even if it meant i was gonna hate it i had to remember it.

"Probaly at the libary and studing, why"Josh asked me and rasied an eyebrow. I let go of his hand and stood up.

"Because i need to remember, and i need him to look me in the eye and tell me the truth"I said walking towards the door. But while outside i was stoped. Josh grabed my arm.

"Why"Josh wispeared. I looked at him.

"Because he druged me, then he raped me and got me pregnant"I hissed not realizing what i had just said. Josh just looked at me in disbelive. I looked down at the ground and sigh.

"Please don't tell anyone, i just, i just need to remember to belive it"I wispeared. Josh nodded and looked like he understood. But he wouldn't let me walk alone to that man.

* * *

We arrived at the libary. There wasn't as many people that i though it would be but maybe it was for the best. I don't know how i'm going to react when i see him, if i see him. Josh waited by the door while i looked for him. Suddenly i saw someone. The brown hair, and he was tall it had to be him. I walked up to him. He was reading a book but when he noticed me he looked up.

"Can i help you"He asked, he had a dark voice the same voice that man had.

"Do you remember me"I asked looking him straight in his eyes. He was quiet for a minute there. I could tell that i regognize me but he had no idea from were. But then a look of shock hit him right in the face. Did he remember. How could he remember but not i. I hear him taking in deep breaths. He has nothing to say, it was him. The man that druged me, raped me, got me pregnant was now standing not even one meter away from me. He then started to nod slowly.

"Yeah i i do and i'm sor"I slaped him before he could finish. He fell to the floor. I was just turning around to walk away when someone grabed my arm and turned me around. It was his three friends. They looked angry, i guess they had no idea. One of them took a sharp thing out of her pocket and pulled it against my arm while that other guy were holding me so i couldn't pull away. After that the girl had made a bloody scar on my arm they let me go. Josh couldn't see what happened but when he saw me coming back with a bloody arm, he looked shocked.

"Did that helped you"He asked serious and angry. I shaked my head as he pulled me out of the libery and back to his dorm room. When we entered his dorm he forced me to sit down on his bed while he was getting a towel. He sat down next to me and tried to clean away as much blood as he could. It wasn't so deep but it had spreed all over my arm. God what if Riley sees this, she would think that i have been cutting my self. Oh god what if Farkle or Corey or Shawn sees this. When Josh was done cleaning my scar he went to get some bandage to cover it while it could still begin to bleed. I looked at the scar. It really looked like i've been cutting myself. But maybe that is what i did. I mean i didn't fight back when they did it. I just stood there and let them do it. Then without thinking about it i put my hand on my abdomen and started to cry. I actually forgot. even when i said it to Josh only a few minutes ago i totally forgot. But i just can't belive it until i remember it. This can't be happening to me. Why is this happening to me.

Right then Josh came back with the bandage and saw me cry. He walked slowly towards me and sat down in front of me. He looked at my hand that i had put on my abdomen. He took my other arm where my scar was and put the bandage on. He then just looked at me, he looked so concerened. I really wanted him to say something but he was speechless.

"I'm scared"I finally said and looked down at the floor. Josh took both of my hands and made me look at him. We looked each other in the eyes. He was already calming me down, without even trying.

"You'll be fine Maya, I'm here for you okay"He said and even his voice made me weak. I'm still crying.

"Thanks, i appreciate that"I said with a weak smile, Josh smiled a little bit to.

"So what are you going to do"He asked. I knew what he was talking about.

"I can't do an abortion, i saw that little things heartbeat and i just can't kill it like that"I said and started to cry even more.

"Okay. So are you going to give it away for adoption" He still looked at me. I know that he wants to know as much as possible so he can help and support me but i haven't even thought it through.

"I don't know, i were on the ultrasound today, i didn't take the picture but i will come back in four weeks or something"I said wiping away my tears. With out a warning Josh pulled me into a hug. I started to cry again. My head was on his chest, i could feel his heartbeat and it feelt so calm. Like i was the safiest person on earth. I never want him to let go, never.

* * *

 **So this was chapter 5, wow already chapter five. Well i really hope you enjoed it, please leave a review and tell me what you thought, i would be really thankful if you did. And as always i promies to update as soon as possible. xD**

 **/Writing dust.**


	6. Confusion And The Truth

**Hey, I'm back with a new chapter, Please review and i hope you guys Enjoy xD.**

 **/Writing dust.**

* * *

Chapter 6 Confusion And The Truth

Four weeks later:

Mayas POV.

It's been four weeks since i found out that i've been druged and got pregnant. I can't belive that i've been able to keep this a secret for so long. I have been lucky that i'm not to affected of the drug or my pregnancy. I've only thrown up twice, the first time was when i tried to drink raspberry juice again when i was at home and lets just say that it didn't work out that well. The second time was at Topanga's where i actually don't know the reason. My friends has been acting weird around me, or have they. They have been so nice to me, actually they have been the best of friends. God it makes me feel so guilty not to tell them. But then again, i know that they are suspecting something. Because everytime i'm walking out of the bathroom someone of them ask me if i throw up. But why.

Now i'm sitting in the waiting room again for my appointment. Josh told me he could come with me but i though that it would only make people belive that he was the father. And i didn't want that, i didn't need that. Yesterday i had looked at myself in the mirror to see if i had a bump, it was so small that only i could notice, cuz i didn't told Josh and he didn't seem to notice. And yeah me and Josh had been talking pretty much lately and i was really happy that he hadn't told anyone. He let me take my time. But he has made sure of that i know that i can't hide this forever.

"Miss Hart"The nurse called and i got up as quickly as i could. I hate this waiting room. Every women is looking at me so i actually feel relived when the nurse calls my name. She leds me into a room and tells me to sit down on the bed and that Mrs Cooper will be here any minute. When i am alone i look around the room. It has green walls with two windows. there is a desk with a computer and papers and behind me now there is the ultrasound machine. I look at it and put a hand on my abdomen.

"I guess we'll see each other again soon"I said smiling a little. I am really scared but excited. Right then Emily comes in.

"Hi Maya"She said and smiled and i smiled back at her. She took a chair and sat down in front of me.

"So how have you been feeling since we last met"She asked me.

"I've been pretty good except that i've thrown up twice"I told her. She wrote it all down on a paper.

"Okay, i have some good news for you."I nod."We have taken closer looks on the blood tests, and we found a way to get it out of your blood"She said with a weak smile and i smiled to. But i could see that there was something else, something bad. Emily continued.

"But we can't get it out of your liver"She said. My heart started to beat faster. The drug was on my liver.

"What"I said with a hoarse voice, i almost started to cry.

"Only time can get the drug out of your body, but we still don't know how it will effect you or your baby"Emily said looking at me with concern.

"Only time can tell"I said lying down on the bed while Emily nodded and went to fix everything for the ultrasound.

I was now starring at the screen were my baby lied. It was beautyful and Emily said that everything looked fine and i could leave. But this time i took the picture with me. I was sitting on a bench in a park and looked at the picture.

"So i guess you are going to be a part of my life, cause no one wants a kid thats be carried by a druged woman. But do you know what, i going to love you, mom is going to love you and Riley"I started to cry a little and laugh at the same time"Oh Riley she is going to love you as much as i do"I wiped away some tears but i was still laguhing to myself. Wait did i just decided to keep it. Huh i guess i did. Oh god i should really tell my mom. And especially since they have to write on those papers for the medication so they can get the drug out of my blood. How am i supposed to tell them. I stood up and walked towards NYC. I feel like i need to talk to Josh, i don't know why but i just need to.

* * *

I knock on the door to Josh's dorm room and he opens. I invite myself and sits down on a chair as he just looks at me.

"Have you been crying"He asked me concerned but i just shook my head.

"Everything looks fine, the doctors have find a medicine to get the drug out of my blood system, oh and i got the picture this time"I took up the picture from my pocket and showed it to Josh. He came closer so he could see and i know i tried to hide i but i saw a little smile on his face.

"That's great Maya, so why have you been crying"He asked and looked me straight in the eyes.

"The drug got to my liver and only time can make it disappear and they don't know how it will affect me or my baby. And i also need my parents so sign under a paper at the hospital so i can get medicine"I said with a low voice. Josh sat down on the bed that was next to the chair i sat on and he took my hand in his.

"You were going to have to tell them any way. maybe now is the right time"He said but i just shook my head and looked down at the floor.

"Why is it so hard for you to tell anyone, i mean it's not like they are going to kill you"Josh said and made me look at him. Are eyes met. And their was a moment of silence.

"Because then i need to tell them everything. What if they never want to see me again"I said with tears forming in my eyes. Why were i so emotional. I wait for Josh's answer but nothing. He just pulled me into a big hug. I let one tear drop.

"They won't Maya, and they will get over it, okay"Josh said as we both pulled away. I wiped away the tear.

"Yeah you're right, i will tell them tomorrow after school"I said with a confident voice. And then both me and Josh looked into each others eyes and their was another moment of silence.

* * *

The next day i wake up and i'm actually happy. And i mean it. I walk over to the Matthews apartment and open the door with a big smile on my face as i sit down at the table.

"FOOD"I yell a little funny. I'm so hungry. It's pancakes my favorite. I start to eat immediately. And everyone except Riley is laughing.

"What's wrong Riles"I asked. She turn to her plate and starts to eat as well.

"Nothing it's just"She stoped"Oh i really like your hair, oh and your shirt i really love it, it looks fluffy"Riley said as she giggled. I just gave her a look and smiled back. I also feel relived that no one can see my bump. But i think Riley has been acting weird. I mean she dosen't give me so many compliments that i have been given. It started to feel like my mouth turned into a desert so i took the glass up but then when i had drunken it all up. It was raspberry jucie. I started to feel nausea directly. I didn't realize but i did a disgused look that started to worry everyone around the table. I wanted so badly run into the bathroom but then i would throw up. But i couldn't stop myself i stood up and ran into the bathroom and throw up the pancakes and the jucie. Riley and Topanga had been coming as fast as they heard me vomiting. Topnga hold my hair up and Riley rubbed my back. When i were done i got to lay my head in Topangas lap while Riley got a glass of water.

"I don't think you should go to school today honey, Do you want me to call Katy"Topanga asked. God here goes nothing. i Nodded slowly and decide that when mom and Shawn comes home i will tell them. I'll tell them everything. Because i can't keep this a secret beetwen only me and Josh. I sit up when Riley comes with a big glass of water and Topanga leaves the bathroom to call Katy. I take the glass and starts to drink immediately.

"Peaches, please tell me what's wrong, you know that you can trust me more then anything do you"Riley said. And i know that she is worried, but i can't tell her right now. It took one night to get the courage to tell mom and Shawn, but to tell Riley and the others. I don't even know if i will ever be ready.

"I do know that i can trust you, and i trust you more than anything"I said putting the glass down on the floor.

"Then tell me"Riley said and i hear that she is very close to tears. I want to tell her but i can't find the words.

"I.I I" No the words isn't there. Riley sigh and i can hear that she mutters something to herself like sorry and then i can't hear the rest.

"We know that you have Bulimia"Riley said. And my eyes widen. So me throwing up and get lost in my thoughs and acting werid lead to this. Everyone of my friends think that i have an eating disorder. No i can't let Riley belive that. I open my mouth to say something when Topanga calls my name from the living room. I quickly got up and took my things and got out of the appartment as fast as i could and started to run home. I can't belive that my friends would ever think that i had an eating disorder that could kill someone and i didn't tell them. I just ran i didn't care why Topanga had called for me, i just ran back home and when i got home i run into my room and throw myself on the bed. So now i lie there on my back crying for god knows how long.

After a while i heard the door open.

"Maya, i came as fast as i could"Mom said as she entered my room. She saw me lying there on my back crying. She knew something was wrong, she sat down as i sat up and warped my arms around my knees so mom could come closer.

"Baby girl are you okay"Mom asked me and i could see in her eyes that she expected me to say that everything was alright. And i really wish that it was but it wasn't. I took a deep breath and tears started to come. I started to cry and shake my head. Mom put her hands on my shoulders.

"Maya, look at me"She said and so i did. I guess i just have to tell her. Drop the bomb.

"I got...druged"I said slowly and with a shaking voice. Moms eyes widen.

"What"She said in disbelife.

"The doctors need you to sign some paper at the hospital so they can give me medicine so it gets out of my blood"I said wiping away some tears. Mom looked shocked which made me afraid of telling her the rest.

"How long have you known"Mom asked.

"Some weeks"I said looking down at the floor.

"W,Why didn't you tell me earlier, you shouldn't be carry this all by yourself"She told me with a higher voice but she wasn't angry.

"That's not what i've been trying to hide"I said, Mom looked at me. She was speechless."Mom i'm going to tell you something now and the reason i didn't tell you before is because i was scared. But"I sigh"Mom i'm pregnant"I said it. I finally said it. I started to cry but not because i was scared but because i was relived. But mom just looked at me. Not a single emotion on her face. My tears now turned into scared tears.

* * *

Rileys POV.

I went up to my friends in school. I can't belive that she actually confirmed it. I have to tell them.

"Hey Riley"Lucas greeted when they saw me. But their smiles disapeard when they saw the expression on my face.

"Wait something is wrong"Zay said and now everyone were looking at me.

"Maya confirmed it, she looked me straight in my eyes and told me"I said, okay maybe i lied a little but she did confirmed it by not answering.

* * *

 **So chapter 6 is done. i hope you guys enjoyed it and please leave a review and tell me what you thought and i will promise to update as soon as possible. '**

 **/Writing dust.**


	7. Hope Is For Suckers

**Hello everyone, Thanks for the review i'm really thankful. I hope that you didn't wait to long for this chapter but now here it is so Enjoy xD**

 **/Writing dust.**

* * *

Chapter 7 Hope Is For Suckers

Maya's POV.

I saw my moms eyes filled with tears but it was not sad or scared tears. I actually think that she didn't belive me.

"Mom please say something"I asked her but she just shook her head.

"Why haven't you told me"She finally said.

"Because i was scared okay, i was scared that you would ask me how and then i would have to tell you the truth because i don't what to lie to you"I yelled looking my mother straight in the eyes. She wiped away some tears and took my hand in hers. She took a deep breath.

"Is it Josh's"She asked and my eyes widen.

"NO, no no no no NO"I said again. My mom looked at me with confusion so i took a deep breath and told her.

* * *

Riley's POV.

I saw how my friends happy smiles turned into shocked once.

"What, she she actually admitted it, just like that"Lucas asked me. I nod slowly.

"She just, she just, she just admitted it and ran away home"I said with tears forming in my eyes.

"So what's the plan now"Farkle asked and we all looked at Zay.

"Did she said those words, when she looked you in the eyes did she said "I have Bulimia"Zay asked and took some steps towards me.

"I don't kno"Zay cut me of.

"Did she or did she not"He almost yelled.

"No she didn't"I yelled.

"Then make her say that she has it with those words"Zay said and had now calmed down.

"Why"Farkle asked. Zay just gave him a look.

"Oh, you mean that if she admitt it and say it she is admitting it to herself to, only then she will allow us to help her"Farkle said with a look of realization. So that's what i need to do now. Make my best friend admitt that she have Bulimia and actually say it. We make our way to the class.

* * *

Maya's POV.

So i told her. i had finally told my mother everything. But now that i looked at her i couldn't see a single emotion on her face. She looked pale and who could blame her. I just told her that i went to a club, got druged and raped by a stranger and that i kissed Josh. Wait why did i even tell her that. Now she is probaly going to beat the hell out of him when she sees him the next time.

"Mom"I said carefully. I reached out to take her hand again but she just pushed it away and looked at my door. Was she so mad that she could not even look at me. My heart started to beat really fast. What if my biggest fear got true. What if mom never wants to look at me ever again.

"Are you keeping it"She asked me but she still looked away from me.

"Yes"I said and i also nodded. I looked down on the floor and waited for my mothers answer.

"Okay, i want you to get out of here and walk to the nearest abortion clinic, and i don't want you to come home until that baby is gone"She told me. And i was shocked to hear it. Here i was, i had just told her a story were i got druged and raped and she do not even give me a little comfort.

"Mom please"She cut me of.

"Go"She yelled and scared i stood up grabbed my bag and went out of my apartment. I was crying and people around me was starring but i didn't care. I need Riley, i need the bay window but wait. I can't go to Riley not yet. And she has probably already told the others so i am here with nowhere to turn. Except i have Josh but what if he thinks i'm just, i sigh, i don't know.I sit down at a park bench and look at everyone. I see so many happy people sitting by the trees or just walks. I feel like i'm all alone.

I sit there on the bench for a while just breathing and clear my mind. When suddenly someone sat down next to me. I knew who it were i didn't even have to turn my head to look at him. Because the last time i did i hit him.

"Hey, do you mind if. i . if we can talk"I could hear on his voice that he was nervous. I didn't want to talk to him but i wanted to hear what he had to say. I nod slowly but i don't look at him i'm to even glaring.

"I want to say sorry for what i did to you, i was really drunk and i acted like an idiot, and you have every right to be mad or even hate me"He said.

" I can't forgive you"I said with tears forming in my eyes. But i tried my best to hold them back.

"I know, i know. But one day you'll have to, and til then i promise to stay away from you"He said. What's wrong with him do he really thinks that he can just come here and ask for my forgivness. I turn my face towards him.

"No you are as much involved in this as much as i am, So don't try to get out of it because you won't"I said with a tear falling down my cheek.

"What are you talking about"He asked with confusion. He didn't know, God he didn't know. I wipe away the teardrop and looks up at the sky and taking a deep breath.

"You can't just drug someone and then rape them without there being consequences"I said hoping or almost praying that he understood and it seemed so. His eyes widen as he realized it. He looked shocked of what he had just heard.

"You're"He said with a shaking voice and pointed with one finger towards me. And i just nod. It is kind of funny that he is the father of my baby and i don't even know his name, oh god i don't even know his name.

"I have the picture here"I said as i took out the picture of my pocket and showed it to him.

"You're keepig it"He asked and rasied an eyebrow. All i did was nod."What is your name anyway"He added.

"Maya, my name is Maya, what's yours"I asked.

"Oliver. So where is my place in all of this"He asked. I though about it for a while. Where do i want him to be in my life, in my babys life.

"I grew up without a father. I don't want my kid to do that so what about this if you want to i'll let you two meet when he or she is one year old"I said with a fake smile.

"That's the weridest deal i've ever heard but i. I'll take it if that's what you want"He said with a smile and i hate to admitt it but he is kind of sweet. Who would think that i mean i was impressed.

"Good"I said and nod. He stood up.

"And if you need help with anything just go to the library at NYC, okay"He said and when i smiled at him he turned around and walked away. I put the picture back in my pocket and wiped away the tears once again. Then someone stood behind me.

"Really"Josh said and sat down next to me.

"How much did you hear"I asked him.

"Everything. Are you seriously considering him in your babys life"Josh sounded upset, why did he even care so much.

"I can make my own decisions Josh"I said and i started to feel upset to.

"Maya he druged you and raped you, okay he literally destroyed your life"Josh almost yelled. I started to cry again, i actually broke into tears. I didn't wanted to i wanted to stay strong but right now i can't.

"Oh Maya i'm sorry i didn't mean to."I cut him of.

"You didn't do anything, you are just trying to help. I'm crying because i"I couldn't even say it. I can't tell Josh what my mom said, i can't tell him that my friends think that i have bulimia. I started to cry louder. It only took one second before i felt an arm around my back that made me stand up and start to walk. I didn't look up until i was inside Joshs dorm room. He put me down on the bed. I had calmed down a little but i still couldn't find the words. Right now my life almost felt like hell. I didn't want it to become hell by telling Josh.

"i'm sorry"I finally said. Josh put his cheek on top of my head and his hand was rubbing my back. I felt so comfortable. I wanted to stay like this forever.

"Did something happen"Josh asked after some moments. I wiped away some tears but they only came back.

"I told my mom"I said and leand against Joshs chest. He didn't pull away he didn't do anything.

" She didn't took it well did she". I shook my head and sobbed once more before i heard the words that i didn't know how to react to.

"You wanna stay here tonight"He asked. My heart was in shock but my mind was awake and i nod. But Josh still didn't pull away and i was greatful for that. He didn't know it but he calmed me down. He made me go into a world where i was safe until reality had to come back, but it didn't, at least not yet.

* * *

I lied on my back on the couch. I am so greatful that Josh dosen't share his room. The couch is comfortable so i don't mind sleeping here but it feels weird. Like something is missing i sit up and look over at Josh.

"Hey Josh are you awake" I hissed.

"Yep"He said and turned around and looked at me. "What did your mom say anyway"He asked. I was scared to answer but i guess i have no choice.

"She told me to come home once i get rid of the baby, and you know that i can't"I told him. And he nodden he then got up and sat next to me on the couch.

"Wanna watch some tv"He asked and i smiled as he turned the tv on. There wasn't anything good but we sat up until at least i fell asleep.

I didn't know what happened after that but i woke up with my head on Joshs chest and his cheek on my head and his arm around my shoulders. I felt warm and comfortable. The tv was still on so i guess that Josh fell asleep to. I looked up to see his beautiful sleeping face, he looked so peaceful. And of course he would wake up and pull his arm of me. He sat infront of me now.

"I'm sorry i didn't mean to"I cut him of.

"It's okay, i didn't hate it"I said and then we just looked each other in the eyes. We sat like that for a moment before we both stood up and put our clothes on and went to grab something to eat. I must say that maybe things will work out for me as long as i don't lose hope.

But hope is for suckers.

* * *

 **So this was chapter 7, i know it took long but i've been pretty busy, but at least tell me if you liked this chapter and i'll promise to update as soon as possible.**

 **/Writing dust.**


	8. Lies,Lies And Truth Followed By A Lie

**Hi I'm back with a new chapter. I just gotta say that thanks for the amazing review that i got. I'm so happy this many people like this story, i actually though it would be less, so that so many likes this story means the world to me:). So now just read and EnjoyXD.**

 **/Writing dust.**

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Chapter 8 Lies Lies And The Truth followed by a Lie

Mayas POV:

Me and Josh walked out of the cafe and made our way to my appartment. Josh figured that it would be better if he came with me, But when we arrived he waited outside.

I open the door and walk into the hall. I put my bag down and take of my jacket and walks into the kitchen. I see my mom sitting there with a cup of coffee. She looks at me as i take a seat on the chair infront of her. She puts her cup down.

"So"She said and i could literally hear some happiness in her voice. Like she knew what the answer was going to be. But this time she was wrong. And i can't belive that i'm going to kill that happiness. I can't kill that happiness.

" I refuesed to do it"I said and i could literally hear my moms heart break. But why. God no i can't do this."But then i thought about it and i figured that it would be better if i took it away, so i'm going to do it later today"I said with a fake smile and i heared a sigh of relief come out of my mom. She actually was getting on my nerves.

"Good i'm proud that you could make a decision like that, but may i just ask where were you this night"She asked and i loved that i could hear her concerned voice.

"I stayed at Joshs, he helped me realize everything and he helped me book an appointment"I said fake smiling even bigger now. My mom only nodds and smile back. We don't talk so much more after that so i makes my way out of the appartment and is greeted by Josh who apparently has waited for me the whole time.

"You've waited here this whole time Boing"I asked and he nodds and i know that he wants to know what happened. I take some steps towards him."I told her i'm going do the abortion, i lied to my mom, only because when i were on my way to tell her i heard her heart broke, i couldn't do that to her okay. I know you're probably mad at me for lying but can you please not tell me that now. Because i'm going through some stuff and i don't know if i can handle it. Okay. I don't have my mom, i won't have Riley, i won't have my friends. And i know that i need to tell everyone the truth but can you please just give me some time because i"I was cut of by Josh who pulled me into a big hug. He didn't even had to say anything to make me shut up. He were holding me like this for, god knows how long. All i cared about was that i never wanted it to end.

"When are you going back to school"He asked when we pulled away.

"Well not today"I said which made Josh smile.

"Okay, so what are you going to do today then"He asked. Oh i had totally forgot about today. I mean my mom thinks that i will be at my abortion and my friends. I can't not even imagine what they are thinking now.

"I don't know, i guess i'll just have to stick around"I said.

And i did. I went to the park with my sketch book and i was drawing a field in the sunset and i don't know when or why i did it but i draw a woman with the same hair as me and in her hand she held a kids hand. But i didn't finish the kid. For some reason it felt like i should wait to draw it. So i draw a sun and clouds and i added more details. And i think it turned out pretty good but i will wait to paint the kid.

* * *

Next day:

I walk up to my locker and takes my history books. I'm ten minutes late but it was actually moms fault. We had a small argument about that mom wanted me to stay home today because she thinks that i did the abortion. But i convinsed her that i was okay and then walked to the school and here i am. Standing outside the room where all my friends are, thinking that i have bulimia when i'm actually pregnant. I think that i,m going to be 15 minutes late because i need to think about what i should tell them. I sigh maybe i should just ignore them for a while or just try to avoid the subject or i could just tell them the truth. Yeah maybe.

I open the door slowly and everyone even Corey stares at me. I hate it but i close the door slowly and look at Corey.

"You're okay"He asked softly, he wasn't angry just worried. I really hope Riley hasn't told him that she thinks i have bulimia. I nod and sits down at my desk. Everyone is still staring at me. Why. Have they never seen someone being late to class before. Really they are making me angry.

"Okay can everyone turn their attention towards me now"Corey said. Everyone turned around and looked forward except my friends. Why.

"What are you staring at"I said irritable.

"Why are you late"Riley asked. I can hear the concern in her voice. But i could tell her. I could tell her that i argued with my mom and i got late. But wait if i say that she will ask me why. Maybe i should just go with the classic.

"I over slept"I said and she nodded and turned around but i know that she didn't belive me. Of course. She knows when i lie. And she knows that i've been hiding something.

After school me and my friends walks to Topangas and sits down at our normal spots. Riley open a book and starts to read. I look at her.

"Riley about that other day i"I was cut of.

"No it's okay. We don't need to talk about that now"Riley said and looked up at me and then back at her book. I smiled and open my book and starts to read. I just took a book in the libary. And from just reading the first side i realized that it was a book about a girl who got raped. But she didn't get pregnant. But suddenly i started to feel this guys hands on me. His touch is warm, slowly but hard. I feel how heavy he is. I starts to get a feeling i haven't felt before. I feel how he pulls down his pants a little bit and then he does the same with my.

Without notice i make a look of disgusted again. And i have to admit that i'm not surprised. Should i be happy that i only could feel it and not see it. I shake of the thouht and continue to read. Even if i don't want to.

"Maya are you alright"Farkle asked. Did he really asked that so all my friends could hear. I look up at Farkle and smiles.

"Yes, i'm perfectly fine"I say and try to sound happy.

"Really because you looked like you where going to throw up"Farkle said and i could literally hear all of my friends hold their breaths but why.

"I just have a lot of stuff going on right now, that's all"I said trying to avoid eye contact. I never heard them let out their breaths, which scared me.

"What has been going on"Lucas asked.

"Nothing, if you exuse me i'm going home now, but i'll see you tomorow"I said and got up as fast as i could and made my way out before they could say anything. I walked to the subway.

* * *

Rileys POV:

I saw Maya walking out. She was on her way to the subway.

"Why didn't you stop her"Farkle said to me almost yelling.

"Because you saw how fast she went, and by the way why did you try to push her to tell us. And infront of us. how would you feel if you had it"I say with an angry voice. He really upset me. I mean i want her to tell us but i don't want her to be pushed to it.

"But the longer we wait for her to tell us the closer she'll get to die" Farkle said.

"I'll go talk to her"I said and realised a breath i didn't know i was holding. i Got up and made my way to the subway station. Where i saw Maya waiting for the train. I walk up to her.

"Bay window" She said when she saw me.

"Bay window right now"I answered as we both walked on the train.

* * *

Mayas POV:

We walked inside Rileys appartment. No one was home. Corey is still in the school and Topanga is still working and Auggie is in school or whatever.

Riley stoped in the middle of the living room and turned towards me. She looked at me with those worrying eyes.

"I just want to help you Maya but then you have to be totally honest with me"Riley started and i nod but i'm still really confused.

"I know that you have Bulimia and we know that you don't want to tell us because you are ashamed but you don't have to be Maya. We are here for you i am here for you and"I cut her of.

"No Riles, it's not like that"I say trying to stay calm even if i just want to run away.

"It has to be, what else could it be about. Okay you have Bulimia so what we just want to help you"Riley almost yelled. She really wanted me to tell her that i have bulimia. But i don't.

"Riley i don't have bulimia"I yelled.

"Then why do you throw up sometimes make a disgusted look on your face without even notice and why don't you eat"Riley yelled. I was just about to answer but i didn't get the chance."DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'RE SCARING ME. Okay i just want to help and all sign you have been showing we thought you had bulimia but if you don't then what do you have"Riley yelled. For one minute i could see the fear and desperation on her face. I'm stuck in the moment.

"Well let's just say that in nine months i will have a child"I yelled back and as fast as the words left my mouth i regret it. I saw Rileys eyes widen.

"WHAT"She yelled. I have never felt this scared before.

"I'm pregnant okay, there i said it are you happy"I yelled and my legs took over. I ran into Rileys room and sat down on the bay window with my knees infront of my head. I felt tears streaming up and i started to cry. Hard. I sobbed and just let the tears fall. After some moments i felt a supporting hand on my shoulder. I looked up from my knees but i couldn't face Riley.

"How long have you known"She asked. Her voice was calm and i know that she probably looked at me with the kindest eyes but i couldn't face her.

"Eight weeks or something like that, i found out when i was on the hospital"I said.

"Why wouldn't you tell me"Riley asked sounding offended. I took a deep breath and look at her.

"I don't know. I guess i was scared"I said but Riley wanted me to continue."I was scared that if i told you or anyone else you would hate me"I said and looked away again.

"I don't hate you"Riley said and made me look at her again.

"Are you sure"I asked. And she started to laguh a little.

"Is it Lucas's"She asked. And i couldn't help it but i started to laught to. Maybe i don't have to tell her the whole rape thing.

"No of course not"I said and both me and Riley just laugt for a moment before we got serious again.

"So who is the father"Riley asked. Oh god how am i going to answer that. I mean Riley has never heard of rape before. I can't just let her know something like this. But what else am i going to tell her. I mean i can't tell her that the father is Oliver a guy in college. I need to tell her but no i can't. Yes i can. But no.

"Josh"I said and i regret it. I saw Rileys eyes widen and i felt my heart racing. What did just do. But after a few moments i saw something in Rileys face change. It looks like she just realized something.

"That explains why you have spent so much time with him lately" Riley said and nodded.

"Yeah, could this be a secret between you me and my mom"I asked and Riley nodded. I was so happy that she understand that i had told my mom and the rest of that day we just cuddle up on the couch and looked at a movie. I know Riley still have questions but i'm happy that she don't ask them. She knows me to well. But i just hope that everything will work out with all.. Wait i lied to Riley about the babys father. And i lied to my mom about the abortion. I fucked up now didn't i.

* * *

 **So this was chapter 2. I hope you didn't had to wait to long it's just that i've just been so busy but i'll try to update. So please review and tell me what you think, i'm also open for ideas and criticism. And i'll promise to update as soon as possible xD.**

 **/Writing dust.**


	9. Going Crazy

**Hi, now i'm back and i can't belive that this is the 9th chapter. But don't worry this story is far from over. so enjoy xD.**

 **/Writing dust.**

* * *

Chapter 9 Going Crazy

Maya's POV:

I'm walking with Riley to Topanga's. We are meeting Farkle and Lucas there to do homework. Now it's been a week since Riley found out i am pregnant and at first she didn't asked anything at all but now she is starting.

"Do Josh know"Riley asked and it feels like i've been answering that question a hundred times.

"Yes"I said.

"Just to make sure i am going to be the god mother right"She asked. Really i am really sad now because i hoped that she would know.

"I can't see anyone else as a god mother to my child more than you"I say and i see that Rileys smile grows wider and wider. There is a question she really wants to ask but she dosen't.

"What is it"I ask her. Her smile immidiantley disappears.

"Em, nothing come on Farkle and Lucas are waiting"Riley says and walks faster. I follow her with nothing to say. We meet up with Lucas and Farkle at Topangas and immidiantly starts with our homework. Sometimes Farkle looks up from his book and gives me looks. He is making me feel so uncomfortable. I don't think Riley notice and neither are Lucas. What is Farkle even suspecting. I feel like i don't even want to be here right now. I mean with Farkle giving me those looks, it just makes me feel uncomfortable. After some minutes i can't handle it anymore.

"Farkle would you please stop"I said with a high voice. Everyone looks up at me.

"What am i doing"Farkle ask.

"You are giving me those looks all the time, okay if you want to say something then say it"I yelled.

"Oh okay i didn't mean to, i will stop i swear"He said. I nod but don't smile and everyone keeps doing what they did before.

* * *

After me and Riley where heading to Rileys place but we are just going to stop by my place first so i can leave my books. We walk inside to see my mom sitting in the kitchen.

"Hi mom i'm just going to leave my books"I say and wait for her to answer. She looks up to see Riley standing besides me.

"Honey are you sure that you are okay"She asked loking concerned.

"Of course i'm okay, why wouldn't i be okay"I say not realizing why she thinks this way.

"Honey i'm just thinking that it's hard to go through something like this"Mom says. Riley looks confused.

"Going through what"She ask.

"I don't suppose that you would understand Riley, but doing an abortion is"Katy got cut of. Rileys eyes had widen and she starred at me.

"You did an abortion"She yelled. My mom look at me in surprise.

"Oh you didn't tell her, i am so sorry"My mom says. But all i do is grabing Rileys wrist and drag her with me outside towards her appartment. When we get there we sit down at the bay window in Rileys room.

"What was that about"Riley is yelling."Why haven't you told me you did an abortion, i thought that we were best friends, even sisters, why would you lie to me why"I'm glad that Rileys parents isn't home yet. Riley looks at me with wide eyes and she is breathing heavy.

"Okay, okay. my mom told me that if i didn't do an abortion she would kick me out, but i didn't have the courge to do it so i didn't, i told my mom that i did the abortion without doing it and then i told you about it and now"I say with my calmest voice. Riley is calming down but now she is looking a bit angry.

"What the hell were you thinking Maya"Riley yelled.

"I, i tried to tell her but i just.. I just couldn't okay. i mean what if"I said before Riley cut me of.

"No, she is your freaking mother, she won't kick you out even if she wanted. so now go over to your place and tell your freaking mother the truth"Riley yelled but had a serious tone in her voice.

"Riley is not that easy"I say and try to stay calm but it begins to feel hard.

"Yes it is Maya, you can't do this to your mom, and not to Shawn, not to my mom and dad, not to Lucas and Farkle not to your self"Riley almost starts to cry.

"Why, why should i tell anyone, my life is going to be ruined anyway, just because i did a mistake, okay i shouldn't have gone to that stupid club okay and i'm sorry i" I stop yelling right there, because i just realized what i said. I just told Riley a part of the truth.

"What did you just say"Riley asked with a calm but disapointed voice. I have no idea what to do. So i just climbs out the window and run down the road. I can't take this. I need to go somewhere to think.I let some tears fall down my cheeks and let my legs take me wherever they want.

* * *

I stop outside his door, i knock slowly and wait. He opens the door and let me in. He closes the door behind me and i turn around to face him.

"So, what brings you here"Josh ask me.

"I i i , i don't know, maybe i thought that by escape from reality it would just disappear but i don't think it will" I said, i see the confusion in his eyes.

" .. What happened"Josh ask trying his hardest to understand.

"I lied to my mom about doing an abortion, and i lied to Riley by not telling her that i lied to my mom... And do you know what the worst is. It is that i have been lying to everyone that includes me that i'm fine but do you know what i'm not.. And then Riley finds out that i lied to my mom and now she is pushing me to tell my mom but i don't think i'm ready, so i ran here because. Because, because i don't know where else to go. I mean since i told you the truth and since you are the only one who know exactly what happened that night it's been like you are someone that i can come to when i need support. And i know it's not your job but i just need someone okay. And in this situation you are the only one that i trust. And the only one that i'm sure of will not leave me"I almost yell and tears are streaming down my cheeks. Josh looks at me with caring eyes. We just stand for a while in silence and look at each other.

Suddenly Josh step closer to me and put his hands on my cheeks and wipe away some of my tears. He looks deep into my eyes and i do the same. Seconds later he leans forward and kisses me gently on my lips and i kiss back. And for some seconds i feel like i'm in heaven or in a dream. The best dream i've ever had. But it turns fast into a nightmare.

* * *

 _Flachback:_

 _Me and Josh dances togheter on the dance floor. We are surrounded by many other drunk people. I'm holding a bottle and shakes it before i drink and then i just throw the bottle on the floor. Luckly for me it didn't broke._

 _I put my arms around Josh's neck and he put his arms around my waist. We both lean towards each other and are lips meet._

* * *

I pull back when the flachback stops. My head hurts and i feel dizzy. I still see pictures of me and Josh either dancing or kissing. It was so painful like all of the memories came at the same time. But when i sat down it all stoped. Josh looked at me shocked and i don't blame him. I make some space on the couch so he can sit down besides me. I breath heavy. Josh sits down and put his hand on my shoulder. Right then i starts to see pictures in my head again. I see me and josh heading inside this dorm room. We are still kissing. I see pictures of us kissing in like every corner of the room. I lie down on the couch looking up at the roof. I still see the pictures of us in my head. When it finally stops my heart is beating like i have been running a thousand miles. Josh go to get me a glass of water and puts it on the table besides me.

"Maya what's happening"He ask.

"I don't know. It's like everytime we touch i see pictures of you and me from that night. It all comes to me at the same time and it hurts so bad"I say tears forming in my eyes.

"Do you want to tell me what you see"He ask gently. I think about it. Or at least i'm trying to.

"Pictures of us dancing and kissing. But something tells me that somethng more happened between us that night"I say.

"You think that happened... You think the baby's mine" He says. Like he could read my mind.

"Yeah, is that weird"I ask him. Josh looks down at the floor.

"No, i guess that is better than getting raped"He says and i succeed to put on a small weak smile."You should stay here tonight, i don't want to let you go home when you are like this okay"He says. And although the pain in my head i nod and smile even bigger.

"But Maya."I look up at him." Don't hope to much. We can't be sure... Not yet"He says and puts a pillow under my head. I stop smiling and try to close my eyes but everytime i do so i see all these pictures in my head again. All a the same time.

* * *

 **This was chapter 9. I know you had to wait long again but i didn't really know if i wanted this to happen in this chapter. But then i thought why not. i can't risk you thinking that this story is getting boring and stop reading. I want you to enjoy this story and i hope you do. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. i promise to update as soon as possible. xD**

 **/Writing dust. ( and i know it's a little to late but merry chrismas everyone, at least i can wish you a happy new year :).**


	10. Mother Please

**Hello again, i'm just going to make this short. Thanks for all reviews and for following and all that. It really means alot and i hope that even thought i take long on updating you still enjoy this story. So enjoy xD. (Don't forget to review xD)**

 **/Writing dust.**

* * *

Chapter 10 Mother Please

Maya's POV:

The next day i wake up on Josh's couch. I'm lying on my back and just stare up at the roof. I keep thinking about all these pictures i saw yesterday night. I try to put them all togheter so i can see what really happened. But i just can't, the pictures don't make sense.

I hear footeps coming closer to the couch and i feel someone sit down where my legs are.

"How are you feeling" Josh asked me. I don't take my eyes of the celling.

"I don't know, you think i'm crazy don't you"I say. Josh sighs.

"Maya i...Don't think you're crazy, it's just alot to take in when you say that you think that"He stops, it's like he can't form the words.

"It's yours"I finish for him.

"Yeah"He said. I sit up and warp my arms around my knees. I look at Josh who just looks confused. Like he doesn't know what to say or do or even think.

"Listen Josh, you said it your self we can't be sure, but if it turns out to be yours...Then i totally understand if you want to run for the hills"I say still looking at him. He doesn't say anything, he just keeps quiet.

It's just silence for many moments, but not an awkward type, i can't explain it but it dosen't make me feel uncomfortble.

"I won't run and pretend it never happened and that it dosen't exists, because that would be the biggest lie in my whole life"He finally spoke.

"So you wouldn't run"I asked him, i already knew the answer but i just wanted to be sure i understood him.

"No i won't"He said and looks at me with a weak smile and i do the same. "Maybe you should go home, and try to solve things with Riley and Katy"He said after a moment. I looked down on the floor and took some deep breaths.

"I should...And i will"I said and got up fast and made my way to the door but was stopped by a hand on my arm. I turned around and looked Josh deep in his eyes.

"It will be fine Maya, no matter what happens"He said. I lean forward and places a fast kiss on his cheak.

"Yeah i know"I say and walks out and towards my place.

* * *

I walk inside the appartment to find my mom sitting on my bed. When she sees me she immediately warp her arms around me.

"Maya you had me so worried, where have you been"She says and lets go of me but she still looks at me with worried eyes.

"It dosen't matter where i have been, i need to tell you something right now"I say. Mom looks confused.

"Oh okay"She says. I take a deep breath and tries to hide the fact that my hands are shaking.

" The truth is that i...OKay the thing is that what you told me scared the hell out of me, you didn't even let me choose, it should be my choise if i want to keep it or not, i mean what would Shawn say, Mom please just forgive me i didn't me for this to happen but it did and there is nothing i can do about it. And neither can you so can you please just support me when i need you, Mom i really need you"I say now in tears. She put her hand on my cheak and looks me straight in the eyes.

"You didn't do it, did you"She said and i just looked down and shoke my head. Then she warped her arms around me again and held me tight. I started to cry harder into her shoulder.

"Shhh... Maya i'm sorry about what i said, you're right it was wrong of me to take away that choise, and i hope you know that i will always be there, i'm soryy i did a mistake"She said, but all i did was cry, i cryed so loud that even the people on the street could hear it. Or that's what it felt like. i wanted to forgive her so badly but i couldn't do it. i have no idea why, i just couldn't. Maybe i need time, yeah i need time, i will forgive her one day i know that.

"Mom i forgot to tell you something"I started, mom looked at me." I haven't told you how"I stop, i can't form the words, I haven't told her about this whole drug thing. Maybe i don't have to tell her, i mean i heaven't felt any effects of it. Maybe it's out of my system.

"Much i appreciate this, i love you"I say insteed.

"I love you too baby girl"She answers.

* * *

I make my way to the Mattews appartment door. I have to talk to Riley.

I knock and opens the door and walks in. Everyone turns to me. Corey, Topanga, Auggie and Riley. I close the door and walk so i stand between the couch and the table where the Matthews family is sitting.

"Maya"Riley says with a judging voice. I don't know why the others are starring at me like i'm a total stranger.

"R-Riley what have you told them"I ask. My hands starts to shake again and this time i don't know if i can hide it. What if she told them everything i have told her. Oh no then they think Josh is the father. I don't notice but i start to breath heavier. Riley walked up to me.

"Promise me that from now on you'll tell me everything"Riley says while she brings me in for a hug that i return. I can see that the others are still looking at me. So i wispear to Riley.

"Why are they looking at me". I could hear Riley giggle a little before she answered.

"You knocked before you opened the door". This made me laugh. Me and Riley pulled a part and we both walk up to the table.

"Oh so i'm not aloud to knock as a warning signal that i'm coming to eat all your food"I say and i see how everyone stops looking at me and starts to laugh and then it all goes back to normal.

After breakfast me and Riley leave for school. I noticed that Riley is very distant.

"okay what's bothering you" It took some time before she answered.

"When is your next doctor's appointment".

"Emm next week why"I ask a little confused.

"Can i come with you"She askes. I smile and look at her.

"Of course"I say and Riley stops and turns to me. She smiles bright and pulls me into a tight hug and i hug her back almost even tighter.

That was also the moment when i realized that she will support and stay with me this whole time.

It's now i realized that she isn't my best friend.

She is my sister.


	11. Promises

**Hi I'm back :). I'm sorry it's ben forever but i'm in my last year of high school and i've really needed to think about my grades. I hope you haven't lost interest in the story, I promise to continue to update ASAP. Now enjoy this chapter xD**

 **/Writing dust.**

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Chapter 11 Promises

Mayas POV:

I look at Riley as her smile grows wider when the picture of the baby showes up on the screeen. To be honest I was a little scared to bring Riley, But now I'm just happy that I did. Because her reaction made my day, And on our way home she talked and talked about how my life would change forever and how she would always be there and so many more things in the same category. And when she finally ran out of words she found something else to talk about.

I have to admit, This is he funniest day i've had in a long time. Riley is that kind of friend that helps you escape reality for a while. But soon enough reality catches up to you and you are forced to face it. That's how I felt now when Riley asked me when i was going to tell everyone.

" I mean they are going to find out soon enough, and I can't possibly think that it's right for our friends to go around and think that you have Bulimia" Riley said way to happily. I took a deep breth.

"I get your point Riley, but it's not that easy "I say looking down on the road as we walk slower.

"Yes it's Maya, just walk up to them and say 'Hey guys, you know what i'm pregnant" She says it like it's the easiest thing to say in the whole world. But maybe it is, If you aren't a teenager who snuck out to a club and got drunk and have two people who could be the father of your child.

"I'm just not ready yet okay" I say hoping that she will understand.

"Okay but promise me you will be ready soon because you are already in week 10 which means there is not many weeks left until, you know" She says pointing carefully on my stomach.

"I got plenty of time left, don't worry, I'll tell everybody soon, I promise" Riley gives me a warm smile and I return it. I just wish that I had the coruage to tell everyone the truth.

* * *

The Next Day:

Me and the others takes are normal seats in the classroom. We have health class and I hate it. Maybe because I don't understand it or beacuse I sometimes find it a bit gross. The teacher starts to talk about the human body, and after a while he started asking questions about pregnancies.

" So why should you not be pregnant when you're in your age" He asked. The question shocked me, and I saw Farkle raise his hand and I start to hope that it won't be as bad as I think.

"Because neither her body or brain has finished growing" Farkle says. I really don't won't to be in this class right now, it feels like everybody is watching me, like they know. Like Farkle know, Lucas know and everybody else. Luckly for me the bell rings and I can leave.

At lunch me and my friends sits togheter and today I actually eat. But I'm still being carefull. I wonder if Riley have told them something because they don't seem so suspicious about me having Bulimia anymore. But it still feels awkward.

"So are we going to study at Topanga's today"Riley happily ask.

"Em, yes why wouldn't we"Farkle said with a teasing sarcasm in his voice. We all started to laugh but not tha loud so everyone could hear.

* * *

Later that day we all sit at Topanga's. But we aren't studing, we are just talking. As always we starts to talk about life, we talk about what we are going through and then we help each other. I just wish that they could see right thorugh me so I didn't have to tell them and lie to them, because they don't deserve that. But maybe I'm just lying more by not telling them anything. I tried not to think about it. I heard Lucas and Zay tell the group about something that happened to them in Texas. To be honest I didn't listen, I just laugh when Riley and Farkle laught.

" Em guys Maya have something she wants to tell you, don't you Maya" Riley said looking at me. How could the story turn into Riley trying to make me tell them. I didn't say anything.

"Or should I tell them, okay, Maya i" I stoped her.

" Bay window, right now" I almost yelled. They all looked at me but Riley soon got up and we walked into a booth in the other end of Topanga's so the guys wouldn't hear.

"Why would you do that" I asked.

"Maya they need to know".

"You don't get it, I I have lied to everyone, to you, to mom maybe to someone i know and someone I just met"I said watching Rileys face make a look of confusion.

"Maya I don't understand"She said with a shaky voice, like she could feel that somethig was terribly wrong, like she could hear how fast my heart was beating in this very second.

"I was, I am scared to tell anyone the truht, the only once who knows is my doctor, To be honest I have nerver said the words, everyone just found out without me having to describe it" I said fighting to hold back my tears.

"I still don't understand".

"I did a terrible mistake Riley, and before i tell you I need to know that you won't tell anyone, promise me" I say letting one teardrop fall down my cheek. She nods.

" The night when I you know did that. I had snuck out to a club and I got druged and maybe got raped, But then Josh helped me and I barley remeber anything. And when I got to the hospital the doctor told me I had an unknown drug in my system, And I didn't told anyone because I was scared everyone would hate me"I say, I look at Riley who seems speechless.

After a long silence she puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I won't tell anyone, but you have to tell everyone soon, promise me you'll do that".

"I will, I promise" I say and smile.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it and i promise to update ASAP xD**

 **/Writing dust.**


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